Writer’s Guilt

Today, as I was on the train, I looked at my phone and read all my messages. These are messages from various writing sites and WordPress.

Overall, the messages said one thing, “Where is Clash of Tides?”

Now, this is my bad for keeping the sample up, but readers have been asking me where the chapters are. Of course, if someone messages me, I open the chapters up to them.

For now, I feel plagued with writer’s guilt. I don’t know if other writers have felt guilt over this, but the guilt is,

“How can I deny readers who actually want to read my stories?”

Yes, yes, many of you are thinking, “Didn’t she just complain she didn’t have readers?”

Well, like with anything, people appreciate something more when it’s gone. I feel like I am at a crossroad. Do I post the chapters back up publicly, or do I keep the story hidden away for my own delight?

To my fellow writers, have you ever taken away a story a reader said they loved and felt bad for it?

Sometimes, I wonder if I am too hard on myself. Maybe I’m setting my bar too high for a writer who is still learning. Maybe when we believe we have failed, we are actually succeeding.

Maybe my eyes are so blind with disappointment,
I can’t see what I am achieving

Passion can guide us,
But it can also hurt us

Perhaps it’s time to take a step back,
To realize all the love and support around us

And also to see once a story has been written,
It’s more than just the author, plot, and characters

It’s about the readers,
The ones who dive in the world, and are taken on an adventure

Gosh, writing is such an emotional journey.

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29 thoughts on “Writer’s Guilt

  1. Of all the years blogging and writing, I’ve only taken one series containing 20 chapters off my WP site because I wanted to rewrite the plot. I’ve never had readers asking me where the series is. Probably because people weren’t interested in the first place. But it’s a good thing to have someone asking you about your stories. It means you’re receiving attention. It’s a good thing, don’t feel guilty.

    Liked by 2 people

  2. Hey, I’d put it back up, because even if one person is reading your work then it’s worth it. Maybe edit it, think on it, and then pull the trigger. I can understand how it’s frustrating. I look at my stats and think, “Why bother?” then I remember actual people (like you) are reading my work, and it makes it all worth it.

    Liked by 1 person

    • Thanks for commenting on my blog post^^ And yeah, it’s something I need to think about. However, I am happy people are reading my story and miss it =)

      lol I’ll always be here to read your blog post ^__^

      Like

      • Hey, it’s no problem, us bloggers/writers need to stick together! Exactly, you’d be surprised at what people enjoy, because we are our own worst critics (and I think that goes double for writers haha). Well thank you! I like reading your content too. It’s good to see a writer being so honest and candid about the struggles that all writers, especially “emerging” writers, deal with.

        Liked by 2 people

      • I fully understand your feelings about things. It is something you are the only person who can decide. I’ve felt that way about taking down previous blogs, or stories.

        When I decided to start from scratch and delete previous blogs with pretty lengthy stories to boot, I felt bad for a bit but then I realized I shouldn’t. It sucked no doubt, but (in my case at least) it was a decision that had to be made if for no other reasons than to be sure certain souls out there couldn’t find me anymore.

        I deleted my Twitter which I had spent years building up and so many other things. You know what I found though? Ultimately it has payed off immensely. Don’t be down on yourself. If you wish to share it that badly with them, then put it back up.

        Still, if you enjoy having it to yourself and find you are more writing to and for yourself than keep that going.

        The others will live and understand I’m sure.

        Anyways, sorry for replying super lengthily but you know me (rambler) I can’t help myself.

        Cheers! ^_^

        Liked by 1 person

      • Thanks, and I know what you mean. Keeping the story to myself gives me peace of mind with writing. I don’t have to worry about updates or deadlines. However, I feel like Elena, Assan, and Seidon deserve to have their stories read. Oh, who knows!!!

        My mind is like dead right now lol

        Liked by 1 person

      • Sometimes I’m overwhelmed and stressed
        Full of so many regrets
        Is my future even a thing?
        Will the sins of my past catch up to me?
        So many questions and thoughts haunting me
        Little did I know there was someone out there who believed
        In everything I was doing
        So chin up and worry no more my friend
        It will all be alright in the end
        -Believe In Yourself For Someone Else Does Too-

        Not my best, but it is what came to me.

        Cheers! ^_^

        Liked by 2 people

      • Thank you for your kind words,
        they mean a lot to me

        No worries, the writing was great,
        it was thoughtful and encouraging

        For sometimes all we need is motivation and support,
        To open our eyes to all the things around us, to see the reality past self-doubt

        LOL, it’s not my best either, but I hope you liked it. Hahha we are writing poems in comments. Such writers we be ^___^

        Liked by 1 person

      • Haha! Writers we be indeed! It seems you get the message, which is good. It means I wasn’t completely out of it. I’m tired but insomnia won’t let go. I think I might be getting a headache…

        I am glad I could encourage you my friend.

        I hope the rest of your night treats you well.

        Cheers! ^_^

        Like

  3. I know exactly what you mean. We all feel like we’re failing when we set the bars high. People want to read your stories, myself included (even though I’m incredibly slow). But perhaps you made the right choice. Finish them right, and publish them officially. Share some sneak peeks, or the first 20%. Let people salivate for more. 😊

    Liked by 1 person

  4. You’re a writer and there are always going to be people who don’t like your decisions. Do what you feel is right. Don’t let others force your hand. I learned long ago when I started writing that I couldn’t make everybody happy. I still don’t, but have a large following with those who do like my stories. So just follow your heart and don’t worry about what others say.

    Liked by 1 person

    • That’s true. Sometimes when I’m bored, I’ll read book reviews on Goodreads and Amazon. There is always like 50-100 people writing negative reviews about an author’s story.

      I mostly feel guilty for those readers who did enjoy Clash of Tides and commented. However, I want to ask them to beta-read for me. I’ve accepted I won’t get that online popularity, but writing the story is more important^^

      Thanks for commenting on my blog post. I appreciate it. Don’t worry; you’ll get more readers.

      Like

  5. I do think you are harder on yourself than you should be but you’re not wrong; people are bad for not fully appreciating something until it’s gone (myself included!) I don’t think you should feel guilty about your choice though.

    In the grand scheme of things, I think I could count TSATO’s dedicated readers on one hand. For me personally, knowing even one person looks forward to the next chapter has been all the encouragement I’ve needed to continue sharing the story online. But you have to do what’s right for you! I selfishly hope you decide to bring it back, but at the end of the day, it’s your call ❤

    Like

  6. I feel for you. Writing should make you happy, and that’s a vital thing to come to terms with. There are so many external pressures that leave you feeling like a loser (people not finding your stories, being unable to nab an agent or publisher, nabbing an agent or publisher and bitterly regretting it when they screw you over… the list goes on) that it’s easy to lose all passion and feel guilty no matter what you choose to do.

    I’d suggest working out what makes you happy about writing, and if depression or weariness makes you answer, “nothing,” then think about what used to make you happy and why that changed. I read the beginning of Clash of Tides and could tell you loved writing it… Being a writer is hard, without any easy roads, so finding that happiness to hold onto helps a lot while trudging through the ever-present disappointments of trying to have a successful writing career.

    Liked by 1 person

  7. Thanks for commenting on my blog post. Writing does make me happy, but I do feel a lot of pressure. And like you said, it’s mostly the readers not finding my story and the lack of readership that brings me down.

    Clash of Tides is truly like my baby, and I was so passionate about writing that story. Thanks for understanding^^ It is hard to find that happiness when there are so many disappointments that can come.

    Liked by 1 person

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